Friday, November 7, 2008

more missing him.

i miss my dad a lot today. it comes and goes. somedays i only think of him a couple times and without even the pang. but today really choked me up. we're at 11 months. another few weeks and we'll hit the year mark, which is beyond me. a year without my dad! in about two or three weeks (like ten days before a year), it'll be a year since i've seen him.

he's been popping up in my dreams a lot lately...again. i guess i kind of like it. it's sort of like seeing him. it's hard, too, though.

he really loved me a lot. i keep thinking about that. there's this song called "my little girl" by pierce pettis, a singer my parents love. it's so sweet and perfect. but my parents couldn't listen to it since we all moved our different ways. it was too sad for them thinking about me as a little girl, etc. (they also couldn't keep pictures of chandos or me up around the house.) well, anyway, the song came up on my ipod yesterday and i can't get it out of my head now. i miss him so much.

still can't believe he's gone. like...not just for a year or two...but for the rest of my life. just gone.