halves.

why do we pretend uncomfortable things don't exist? i know i do this on a personal level. like, i fail to mention my love for Jesus, 'cause i'm afraid to offend someone. and i certainly hide my feelings on a daily, if not hourly basis, because who really wants to talk about feelings? (let's talk about yours, but not mine, please.)
but so much of our lives, and life, are hidden in these deep dark spots, so no one has to talk about the shit. see previous blog. but not just that. not just the really horrible, terrible stuff like child abuse, but simpler stuff like emotional pain and distress.
i love the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. i'm basically in love with this organization. there's this whole class of people (myself included) who have been slapping on smiles most of our lives because it's plain just not okay to show our real aches and sufferings. if we must talk about them, see a counselor. (but don't tell anyone we're seeing counselors, because they might think we're crazies.) seeing a counselor has become somewhat normalized, though, which i'm so eternally grateful for, like literally, thank you GOD for helping that to become "okay." but still, i feel like, the reason seeing a counselor has become so accepted, is that this whole movement of speaking our feelings publicly, and/or wearing them on our so-called sleeves, is frightening to the other half. the half who apparently don't ache inside like the half who do.
but there's a movement. it's like we're all finding each other and rising up. because maybe really we're all suffering inside. and maybe not! maybe some people really do not understand what it's like to hurt so badly. to be burdened by this invisible and unnamable presence. but i thank my friends at TWLOHA, and all of you who know how to share your shit, because i'm affected. i'm feeling like i can maybe someday do it, too.

anyway. i'm off track, and the train has derailed. maybe i'll finish this up later. most likely not, but at least i wrote!