a dichotomy.

i was doing the whole facebook thing just a minute ago, on my "home" page, reading people's status updates and all that fun stuff. i like seeing the, "so-n-so added 11 new photos to the such-n-such album," too.
so i was looking at this girl's pictures; she's kind of an old friend from dallas. her mom used to watch my brother and me when we were kids, so i would play dress up and house with her. she's about five years younger than me, but she leads this life of dallas-party-scene-sophistication. plus she's just HOT. she used to be kinda chubby, i guess (in other words: normal), but one day she got sick of not being hot, went to the gym and never looked back. then she got fake boobs. then bleach blonde extentions. then she reeeally started to get the attention of the fellas. and i guess you could say she uses her sex appeal to her advantage. whatever that means, ya know?
anyway, she has these pictures from some night out to some club with some other leggy blondes, all four sippin' on cocktails in their little back dresses, looking extremely sexy, stuck-up, and...well...ridiculously fake. but no matter, i was still jealous. some part of me (for whatever silly reason), still gets a little envious of hot girls who live life in that damn "fast lane."
but here's the real reason i wrote this morning. not because i actually want to live that life she lives, but rather, because two status updates above this gal's newly added pictures, another friend of mine had posted a new note. she's a friend from estes who i met at a women's retreat and really got to know over some honest chats over a few months. (she's from australia; she lost her mom about a year before i lost my dad; ...we had a lot to talk about...) she's a great girl. i mean one of those that you just know you're a better person for even being in a room with her. she's real and honest, and gets terribly angry at God sometimes, but she's good and kind, and truly lives a Godly life.
i haven't even read her note yet. but when i noticed it sitting there on the screen an inch above the little-black-dress-cocktail-pictures, with the title, "We're in Uganda," the dichotomy of these two girls' lives struck me in a fascinating way. one's in africa, probably not showering, definitely not getting male attention, holding orphan children, comforting dying people, so happy with her life.
and the other girl is in dallas, living the high life, looking GOOD and making friends who buy her drinks, dating a lot, meeting rockstars, also so happy with life. but you tell me which happiness seems the emptier of the two. you tell me which life i should envy, or which girl i should wish to be like!
the black and white of it all is so astounding to me. not that i think the one is wrong for the life she lives in dallas. nor also do i think i need to be in africa right now to be content with my own life. but i guess i just see one life as going somewhere, and one as not. and so i pity the one.

i always stop making sense at the end of these things. :) that's why i'll never be a professional writer. i can't finish! but anyway. that's all for this morning.