i suppose if i were having a conversation with you, the first thing i'd say would be, "i don't know where to start." so i may as well start there. just not knowing. all i can think about is that my first great tragedy is now...and why did it have to be my dad? i need him. i need to ask him what to do with my life. i need him to approve of the boy i'll like someday. i need him at my wedding. i need him to check my oil, fix my plumbing, build a fence for my dog. i need to hear his voice. i need to hear him sing "jellyman kelly" again.
i wouldn't wish him back for one second. because i know where he is, and i know he's never been more fulfilled, he's never been happier, and he's never before seen Jesus as he's seeing him now. that must be glorious.
but even though i wouldn't bring him back if i could, i can't help but fear a future without him. what a man. my dad.
more soon.
1 comment:
hey Emily this is Audrey Holzwarth. I saw your blog on em's. After reading this I was teary eyed. I can't even imagine what you're going through. What a comforting feeling to know he is in the arms of Jesus now. I just wanted to tell you I'm praying for you and your family and you've been on our minds. (em and I)
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